unpleasant circumstances

Since I came here I have tried to join different clubs and social events to make friendships and get to know people. Although it is very helpful believe me it is not always easy, if you were stuck at home you would have less problems and headaches.

For example, I was in a discussion group and a friend of mine was talking about the time he was going back to his homeland. He said even though he speaks the language perfectly local people there quickly understand that he is a foreigner and occasionally shopkeepers cheat the prices and charge him more money. While he was talking I recalled some of my own experiences in my homeland. They do the same ... Followed the conversation I said this, which I wish I should not have said: “Maybe they find you sissy”. He looked upset. It was meant to be an insult. But what I meant by that had nothing to do with him and it was about different contexts and people’s behaviour in different context. Being rough for local people has different meanings and signs. A man who is brought up in a very tough milieu has different body language and people usually expect a fixed definite understanding of being a man or women. Definitely sissy in the UK has another meaning and signs. That is why I said “they find you sissy” because as far as my experience tells me every word has relative meanings especially adjectives; there is no beautiful or ugly. Everything is relative. So to me in a society in which people are dealing with initial needs some behaviours look strange and out of norm while for others especially in affluent societies it is a norm and has nothing to do with sexuality or being inferior. In my culture upper classes are called “sissy” by lower classes because they treat women nicely, they dress up more colourful and they don’t have rough accents.

To be honest I look up the word in the dictionary again and he could be right by getting upset but I wanted to say something about different cultures and subcultures through a joke and share my observation. I hope people there would understand that. As usual I learnt something but I hope it would not have cost my friend’s anxiety.